please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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