I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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