It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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