ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
