I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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