when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You can't just leave with hair like that
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
