My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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