i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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