Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I need moral support for this bender
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
