He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
