? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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