if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
