He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
