I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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