New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
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