3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
not ubering you a puppy
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