On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
