I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
