I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
