next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
