Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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