Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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