That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
