did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There r osticjed everywhere
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
