Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
