i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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