I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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