you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
