The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
