is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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