your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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