Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
