it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
