apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
