Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
