i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
