Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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