When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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