I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
