well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
