Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
