Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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