last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
honey bunches of taint.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
