I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How does one acquire holy water?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
