I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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