Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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