this beer tastes like vomit already
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
vagina is talking i cant
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
