So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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