I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
