The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize